Credibility – most hiring organisations are looking for coaches who have undergone robust training, are effective, and are accountable for outcomes. Additionally, third-party coaching organisations are increasingly asking coaches to be credentialed. These organisations can be a great stepping stone for new coaches who wish to gain experience and expand their coaching business.
Competence and Ethics – when training is completed through an ICF Accredited Coach Education Program specific attention is paid to the ICF Core Competencies and Code of Ethics. The Core Competencies provide a framework for ensuring coaches have the skill and depth of coaching knowledge to work effectively with clients.
Client Trust and Safety – knowing the boundaries of coaching and the line between coaching and other helping professions, such as therapy and mentoring, keeps both the coach and the client safe. It allows the process to remain focused on coaching-specific outcomes and ensures the coach can recognise, understand and implement appropriate referral processes for the client if required.
Professional Development – credentialed coaches are required to invest in continued learning and development, along with accessing support such as Mentoring and Coaching Supervision to ensure they are delivering the best value for their clients as well as maintaining their own levels of personal wellbeing to offer safe and insightful coaching experiences.
Confidence – having a credential and belonging to a global organisation that supports coaches to be their best inspires confidence and a sense of achievement. When coaches feel they are achieving in their work and expanding their knowledge and capabilities they work more confidently with their clients.
Networking, collaboration and learning opportunities – the ICF provides a platform for coaches to access information and professional development, belong to Communities of Practice, engage in Thought Leadership, serve on ICF leadership teams, and much more that can enhance the coach's profile, visibility and confidence.
Accredited Coach Training Schools committed to the continuous professional development of their graduates provide ongoing opportunities for coaches to expand their learning and connect with other coaches.
In summary, gaining an ICF Credential demonstrates the coach’s commitment to excellence in coaching and testifies to the coach’s ability to demonstrate high professional standards, knowledge and skill for the best outcomes for the client. Additionally, the coach has access to a wide variety and number of resources and support for their ongoing development and success.
As an experienced coach educator, mentor and coaching supervision partner I help coaches develop their skills and confidence.
If you are wondering what path to take for your coaching career feel free to connect with me at anna@nzicoaching.co.nz for a chat.
How We Experience Stress
We experience stress when there is an imbalance between the demands being made on us and our resources to cope with those demands.
Stressors are external or internal factors that cause stress or pressure on an individual. They can be physical, emotional, environmental, or psychological stimuli that trigger the body's stress response. Stressors vary from person to person, and what may be stressful for one individual may not necessarily be stressful for another.
Humans have been developing for over 300,000 years and for most of this time daily life was focused on physical survival, which included finding food, preventing and healing from injuries and defending against attack. To deal with these acute stressors the human body evolved to automatically speed up certain body systems (blood pressure, muscle tightness, breathing rate, etc.) to help either the sprint to escape (flight) or the battle to eliminate the danger (fight). Once the threat was gone the body would automatically return to normal physical functioning.
As humans developed into today’s modern-day lifestyle and our basic needs (food, shelter, safety) have been for the most part taken care of, there has been a shift in the threat from the physical to the psychological. Emotional, social, and financial events are the typical causes that trigger the stress response in the same way that physical stressors used to. These days we can consider stress mostly in terms of a mental and/or emotional response to a feeling, situation, or event that interferes with our sense of wellbeing and safety.
When we continually worry about work deadlines, relationships, or finances our body’s recovery response is not activated, leaving us with elevated blood pressure and heart rate, shallow breathing, tight muscles, and high blood sugar levels. These stress responses have significant negative impacts on our physiological and cognitive functioning. Because of this, our response to perceived psychological stressors causes more damage than the actual sources of stress to begin with.
The good news is that we can do something about this!
Managing Stress by Responding to Our Thoughts.
The most important thing we can do to manage stress is to change the way we respond to our thoughts. While we have no control over what happens; what other people say and do, what the weather will be like, or whether the car gets a flat tyre, we can influence how we respond to these stressors. This ability to manage our stress perception is a fundamental aspect of stress management.
From a neuroscience perspective, our thoughts are shaped by our individual experiences, beliefs, values, education, and cultural background. Our mental models (frameworks we use to understand, interpret, and navigate the world around us) shape our thoughts. Our thoughts arise spontaneously from our mental models and may or may not accurately reflect reality. Because of this, we want to be aware of our thoughts and consciously choose how we relate and respond to them. What we do with our thoughts is very much within our control.
Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space there is the power to choose our response. In our response lies our power and our freedom” – Viktor Frankl
There are many ways we can become more conscious of our thoughts and feelings, and experience greater control over our stress responses. These include:
Acceptance - acknowledge and accept your thoughts and emotions, even if they are uncomfortable. Allowing our thoughts to be without judging means acknowledging them without necessarily reacting emotionally to them or trying to get rid of them. This frees us up to experience greater psychological flexibility and emotional wellbeing. Avoidance and suppression of emotions can increase stress, while acceptance allows for a more flexible and adaptive response.
Mindfulness - involves being aware in the present moment and paying attention to your thoughts and feelings without judgment. By letting thoughts come and go without attachment we can be more present in the moment. Mindfulness techniques, such as mindful breathing or body scan exercises, can help us observe our thoughts and emotions without getting entangled in them. When we are aware in the present moment we can notice when we are being pushed and pulled around by our thoughts.
Values Clarification – to understand what truly matters to us we can identify and clarify our values. When we are connected with our values we can choose to act on the thoughts that take us towards them, as opposed to acting on the thoughts that take us away from them.
Unhooking - from thoughts that aren’t taking us in the direction of our values. When we get hooked by our thoughts they can push us around and influence our behaviour in ways that we might prefer them not to. We can unhook from our thoughts by distancing ourselves from them. Instead of believing our thoughts to be accurate and true, we can see them as passing events. This helps reduce the impact of negative or distressing thoughts.
Observer Self - is the part of our consciousness that is capable of observing and noticing our thoughts and feelings. It is a part of us that can step back and observe our experiences from an objective standpoint. It helps us recognise that our thoughts or emotions do not define us.
Committed Action - take actions that align with our values. Instead of being driven solely by avoiding discomfort, we want to focus on actions that move us towards a meaningful life. This can lead to a greater sense of fulfilment and satisfaction.
Self-compassion – involves treating ourselves with gentleness and empathy. It's about refraining from severe self-criticism, particularly when facing difficult circumstances.
Inner Critic – learning to recognise and understand our Inner Critic: where it’s coming from, its motives, how and when it shows up, and what to do about it, supports our ability to distance ourselves from thoughts that can pull and push us around.
There are of course a multitude of other strategies we can implement to manage stress such as calming our nervous system, engaging and connecting socially, creating healthy boundaries, and designing healthy habits for better nutrition, exercise and sleep. These strategies nurture our physical and mental resilience.
“Dropping Anchor” in a Storm of Emotions
Navigating a storm of emotions can be challenging, but there are constructive ways to manage these intense feelings. Here’s a tool that I hope is helpful for you called “Dropping Anchor”.
“Dropping Anchor" is a metaphor often used to describe a technique that helps us ground ourselves when experiencing difficult internal thoughts and feelings.
You can use this if you become overwhelmed by big emotions where it feels as if you could get swept away in the emotional storm. This is when we're hooked by any kind of internal experience, such as a thought, memory, feeling, or an urge. Often when we're in the midst of an emotional storm, we feel as though we've lost control. Dropping anchor allows us to have control over our physical actions, as well as being in contact with what is here in the present moment.
The aim here is to drop an anchor amidst an emotional storm. The goal is not to make the storm go away or pass by quickly. Instead, we want to hold tight until the storm passes, no matter how long this may take.
If you practice Dropping Anchor regularly, you’ll be able to access this tool more easily the next time you feel in a stressful situation. It can be used for 30 seconds or 20 minutes, whatever works for you.
"Dropping Anchor" Technique – Remember the sequence with “ACE”
Read the explanation above before trying this technique out.
A = Acknowledge your thoughts and feelings. Silently acknowledge your internal experiences by noticing what is showing up for you in the here and now and naming it.
Approach this with an open, curious stance as if you were an alien, having thoughts and feelings for the first time. Acknowledging your thoughts and feelings might sound something like this "I'm noticing the thought that I'm going to fail, and I'm noticing a feeling of butterflies in my stomach".
C = Connect to your body. Take physical control over your body. You could take a couple of deep breaths and slowly let the breath out through your mouth, stand up and stretch, push your feet into the ground, press your fingertips together, go for a walk, or do anything that works to bring you back to connect with your body.
E = Engage in your environment. Actively participate in your surroundings by noticing what is happening around you and using your five senses to notice. This might be noticing five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste (or anything similar). You can repeat this as many times as you need to and do it anywhere and at any time.
As a certified Mental Health Coach and ICF Professional Credentialed Coach, I help people manage stress and anxiety using Transformational Coaching techniques and ACT tools. ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) is a mindfulness-based behavioural therapy, which develops our psychological flexibility allowing us to live in more meaningful and fulfilling ways. If you would like to take more control of the stress you experience, please feel free to connect with me at anna@nzicoaching.co.nz . I’m here to help.
]]>Below, you'll find various themes like self-awareness, purpose, work-life balance, stress management, confidence, decision-making and communication that interweave and naturally emerge when career development and wellbeing coaching are integrated with leadership coaching.
Leadership Coaching focuses on the leader knowing themselves well. Amongst other essential areas for leadership development, understanding core values, strengths and motivations is central to a leader’s effectiveness. Here’s an overview of why each one of these aspects matters for leaders:
Values are the guiding principles that shape a leader’s behaviour, decisions and actions. When leaders align their actions with their core values, it enhances authenticity and integrity, fostering trust amongst team members. Clarity on one's values and acting in harmony with supportive values also promotes ethical leadership.
When leaders focus on their strengths, they are more likely to excel in their roles, leading to improved performance and outcomes. Leaders can also recognise and utilise the strengths of their team members. Building a team with complementary strengths enhances collaboration and overall team effectiveness.
Leaders with a clear understanding of their motivations are often more inspired and driven. Knowing what energises and motivates them helps leaders persevere through challenges and maintain enthusiasm, which can be contagious within the team.
Career Development Coaching supports leaders and professionals to address their work and role-related priorities and assume leadership of their career. Making career decisions that align with one’s values and being intentional about actions and pathways is crucial for several reasons such as increased job satisfaction, career advancement, adaptability to change, and improved work and role opportunities. The Workplace Learning Report 2024 notes the rise in tailored career development to individual career motivations as a priority in learning and development.
Career development has a wide-ranging focus, encompassing various aspects of an individual’s professional growth and advancement. Here are some examples:
Career exploration is the process of actively investigating and gaining insights into various career options to make informed decisions about the type of work that is personally fulfilling. For leaders, this might include crafting work roles to make full use of their strengths, as well as considering educational and professional pursuits that will enhance their career opportunities.
Career Transition involves a deliberate and often strategic shift in one's professional pursuits, and it can encompass various changes, such as moving to a different industry, role, or even starting a new business. Career transitions can be prompted by various factors, including personal growth, changes in interests, economic shifts, or the desire for greater work-life balance.
Increased Confidence is a common and valuable outcome of effective career development due to improved professional networks, being more adaptable and resilient, increased self-awareness, identifying and defining personal brand, contributing more actively to workplace initiatives and projects, and setting and achieving short and long-term goals.
Stress Management plays a crucial role in career development by contributing to a healthier and more sustainable professional journey. Stress management helps individuals to think clearly and make informed and rational decisions, build resilience and navigate setbacks, improve workplace relationships, and avoid career burnout.
Improved Communication often results from engaging in development activities such as being more self-aware, dealing with stress, and gaining clarity on one's sense of purpose.
Work-Life Balance is managed more deliberately as individuals prioritise their professional and personal goals, create healthy boundaries between work and personal life, and nurture their personal wellbeing.
Wellbeing Coaching helps leaders to proactively manage stress and promotes effective coping strategies in the face of constant change, pressured work environments, and role expectations. Building effective coping strategies to become more resilient and addressing all aspects of wellbeing achieves better outcomes in all aspects of life - mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually.
As well as addressing specific problems, wellbeing coaching emphasises proactive health promotion. It empowers individuals to take an active role in enhancing their overall wellbeing to actively prevent health issues before they arise or intensify.
Mental health involves addressing factors such as stress and anxiety and providing strategies to enhance cognitive and emotional resilience.
Physical health involves paying attention to nutrition, exercise, sleep and other aspects such as mind-body connection awareness.
Emotional health relates to an individual's ability to understand, manage, and express their emotions in healthy and constructive ways.
Spiritual health relates to a sense of meaning and purpose and involves understanding one's core values, setting meaningful goals, and feeling a sense of direction and fulfilment.
I’m sure you will have noticed the interconnected themes of all three areas of coaching and can see that career, leadership, and wellbeing fit hand in hand when it comes to personal and professional development. Since we can’t separate one aspect of our multifaceted lives from another it makes sense to approach coaching with a broader perspective for enhanced outcomes.
If you are seeking assistance with your career, leadership, or wellbeing goals, please feel free to connect with me at anna@nzicoaching.co.nz. I am here to support you.
As an experienced leadership, career and wellbeing coach, I help leaders develop their leadership style, increase presence, build healthy and productive relationships, lead with focus and intention, and become more skilful at bringing out the best in themselves and others. If you would like to achieve your leadership goals, please feel free to connect with me at anna@nzicoaching.co.nz
]]>Being intentional about where we direct our energy is a valuable practice that involves consciously choosing how and where we invest our time, attention, and efforts.
An intentional approach helps us align with our values, enhance our relationships, cultivate our purpose, and become more effective in achieving our goals.
Here are some guiding questions to help you think about and plan for where, what, and with whom you will focus your energy and time next year. Take some time to reflect on these questions to understand what's important to you and your success.
My Self
Over the past year:
From the above reflections, what do I want to develop more about myself going forward?
My Purpose
Over the past year:
From the above reflections, what do I want to do more of going forward?
My Network
Over the past year:
From the above reflections, who do I want to spend more time with going forward?
]]>Grove also noticed that when attention was given to the client’s metaphorical language, they could access a deeper and more embodied level of experience – uncovering how they think, their default patterns, and what truly mattered to them. Grove noticed that the use of language can either be directed toward the client’s experience or can be focused on the coach’s interpretation and meaning-making, which directs the experience away from what the client is experiencing.
Clean Language is a technique that takes the client’s exact words, reflects those words back to the client, and uses those words to ask a question. This ensures that the coach does not taint the client’s thinking with their own interpretations or thought processes with the words the coach uses.
Naturally occurring metaphors are enhanced with the use of Clean Language, offering an in-depth understanding and insight into the client’s symbolic world and their experiences. Using the client’s exact words helps them identify their symbolic mind-body perceptions. Through the process of evolving these metaphors, the coach facilitates the client’s increased self-awareness.
Clean Language and Clean Questions are a simple set of questions that use the client’s own words to direct their attention to some aspect of their experience. Directing toward the client’s own experience is important because it takes the focus away from the coach or a thing and focuses it on the client’s experience instead.
Using clean language prevents any influencing, advising, judgment, or opinion offering by the coach. In a coaching relationship, the coach is conscious of and practices respectful dialogue. However, even though the coach may think they are not leading the conversation or bringing in their viewpoint, their processes inevitably come out in their use of language. The more the coach thinks about this, the more likely they are to notice their own language; the metaphors, and the personal landscape they naturally refer to as they speak.
Clean language can be used with any client, and at any stage throughout the coaching session by attending to the client’s experiences and understandings and helping them discover what is underneath or behind the words they use as well as facilitating the understanding of their own patterns, establishing the opportunity to work with new perspectives, including the use of metaphor.
To avoid bringing their own biases into the conversation the coach listens actively for the client’s words and frames their questions with those words. The coach would make use of Clean Language to encourage the client to notice and reflect on their own language and make meaning of their personal landscape.
The Structure of Clean Language
Unless it is the client’s language all pronouns are removed to keep the attention on the client’s experiences and not on the coach or anyone else. Instead of asking “Can you tell me about what matters to you about what [name] said?” the coach would ask “What else about that?”
Make use of the words That and And:
“That” – this word points to the aspect of the client’s inner landscape. E.g., If the Client says, “I want to feel less stressed” the coach would ask “What kind of stressed is that?”
“And” – this word acknowledges and joins the client’s words with the coach’s words. E.g., If the Client says, “The stress is like a tight grip on me that won’t release” the coach would say “And that tight grip that won’t release, what else about that?”
Most verbs are dropped and replaced with “to be” and “to happen”. E.g., If the client says, ‘I feel like I’m doing it to myself by overloading myself” the coach could say “And what would you like to have happen?”.
From the very start of a coaching session to the end Clean Language can be interspersed carefully. To open the coaching conversation the coach might ask” And where would you like to start?” This example of clean language prevents the coach from influencing a particular approach.
Possible example questions within the coaching session using the client’s exact words:
The client says, “I feel like I’m off track”.
The coach could reply with any one of the following:
The client says, “I’m feeling frustrated”.
The coach could reply with any one of the following:
The client says, “I feel like in these situations I start to doubt myself”.
The coach could reply with any one of the following:
Possible example questions to encourage exploration and understanding of self using the client’s own words (in bold):
Possible example questions for supporting the client to reframe or move forward with a new perspective using the client's own words (in bold):
Example of an unclean language conversation:
Client: I feel as though my career has come to a standstill.
Coach: Is there room for advancement in your team? What would you need to upskill on?
Client: Not really, but basically I feel like I’ve come to a grinding halt.
Coach: What are your options?
Example of a clean language conversation:
Client: I feel as though my career has come to a standstill.
Coach: Come to a standstill, what type of standstill is that?
Client: One where I can’t move forwards or sideways.
Coach: And what else about that standstill?
Client: My options don’t feel interesting to me anymore.
Coach: Where would you like to be with options?
You can learn more about Clean Language with Caitlin Walker’s work from this Ted Talk: TEDx Merseyside – Caitlin Walker – Clean Questions and Metaphor Models and her website CleanLearning.
]]>Much of the work of a coach involves facilitating awareness with their client about the client's patterns, beliefs, blind spots, and stories, to support fundamental changes in the client's personal and professional life. Coaching supervision is a shift in focus for the coach from facilitating awareness for their client to the coach exploring the wider context of their own work, including the nature of their relationships, and their capacity for reflexive practice (the coach understanding who they are in the coaching relationship).
As the coach reflects on their coaching sessions, their personal awareness and objectivity with respect to their coaching relationships are heightened.
Coaching supervision offers a shared and safe thinking space to:
WHO You Are, Is HOW You Coach
Coaching Supervision is sometimes referred to as Super-Vision, which seeks to describe the magnified perception the coach gains when they explore who they are in the coaching space and what influences their way of thinking and being.
Reflective Practice, Co-Visioning, Thought Partnering, and Co-Creating also describe the work that builds the coach's capacity to engage in a process of uncovering the lenses through which the coach views themselves and their coaching clients.
From this perspective, the purpose of supervision is to improve outcomes for clients. The coach develops a reflective process that supports continual personal and professional improvement, quality interventions, and ethical maturity, along with a focus on the coach’s own wellbeing and resilience.
Coaching supervision welcomes what is, in a respectful and accepting dialogue that is free from judgement. The supervisor shares experiences and offers new perspectives for the coach’s consideration. The opportunity exists to uncover blind spots and recognise personal stories, noticing how these can influence and impact client-coach relationships.
The relational presence of the supervisor supports exploration and profound thinking to cultivate the ability of self-observation, which develops the coach’s sense of WHO they are BEING in the coaching space.
Coaching Supervision offers a wide range of lenses through which the coach can consider their coaching relationships. These range from the coach noticing the client’s experience, to the dynamics that can play out in the coach-client relationship, to the broader influencing systems of the client's landscape.
Any topic to do with coaching; clients, other parties to the agreement, or the wider systems can be brought to supervision. Some examples:
Coaching supervision offers coaches the space to understand what is going on inside their own systems that influence how they show up, connect and engage, and bring value to their client relationships.
]]>"Awareness is the greatest agent for change" - Eckhart Tolle
All these subtle (and not so subtle) indications give us information about what we can be curious to and inquire about. Noticing and bringing attention the nuances of communication, promotes awareness.
4 tips for active listening:
Suspend judgement – have an open mind to what the person has to say without needing to defend your own thinking.
Be fully present – let all your focus and energy be on them, and nothing else.
Avoid offering solutions – practice being with the person and hearing them instead of giving your opinion of offering a fix.
Wait 3 seconds before you respond – giving space in a conversation encourages more dialogue. It allows the listener to respond to what the speaker has said instead of constructing responses before they have finished speaking.
In his book The Culture Engine S. Chris Edmonds describes servant leadership as a person’s dedication to helping others be their best selves at home, at work, and in their community. Edmonds reminds us that…
"Anyone can serve-and lead-from any position or role in a family, workplace, or community”.
Where and how does a leader demonstrate their dedication to others?
Co-authors Tom Rath and Barry Conchie in their bestselling book, Strengths Based Leadership, explore the four specific emotional requirements people need to experience with their leaders in order to feel engaged and connected to the organisation and their day to day work. These are:
Trust – a leader’s word is their promise. Integrity, honesty, and respect are the by-products of solid relationship built on trust.
Compassion – a leader genuinely cares for their team as they would their own family.
Stability – a leader can be counted on in times of need and inspires a feeling of psychological safety.
Hope – a leader communicates hope in the future by having a clear direction in mind.
How do coaching skills support these four essential requirements?
Trust – a coach cultivates trust and safety by respecting the coachee’s unique talents and insights. They show respect and invite a response to their contributions, accepting the coachee’s response.
Compassion – a coach demonstrates genuine empathy and acknowledges the expressions of feelings, perceptions, concerns, beliefs, and suggestions.
Stability – a coach focuses on fully listening to the coachee and is skilled in demonstrating presence and acceptance of challenging situations, acknowledging the disruption, and staying in the moment to support the coachee.
Hope – a coach listens, asks, and facilitates coachee growth by exploring new ways of working with insights in relation to the situation and themselves. A coaches partners with the coachee on how to move forward, create solutions, and be accountable for their actions and behaviours.
If you are you a leader who would like to inspire connection, collaboration and engagement by demonstrating the above essential elements to create a thriving, self-aware and self-directed workplace, join us for the Coach Approach to Leadership 10-hour course that will provide you with the foundational skills of coaching.
Contact me at anna@nzicoaching.co.nz where we can support you to bring your best to your leadership.
Boundaries come in the form of words, actions and behaviours that we believe others ought to respect about us. Boundaries define who we are, what we find acceptable, what we view as important and how we see ourselves in the world.
Boundaries come from our beliefs about what we do and don’t deserve, our opinions, attitudes, past experience and social learning. They develop as we learn more about who we are and what we value. Our boundaries continue to strengthen as we trust and listen to our own views regarding our personal rights.
A person who keeps others at a distance is said to have rigid boundaries. Someone who tends to get too involved with others is said to have porous boundaries.
By setting healthy boundaries we develop a strong sense of self. Learning to respect ourselves allows us to become close to others and to develop robust authentic relationships while still being an individual.
Having strong boundaries in place prevents the suffocating and occupying of our own personal space and being. It prevents the risk of others taking advantage of us. When we feel this strong sense of self and have well defined boundaries for ourselves it means we are more likely to treat others with respect and be aware of others’ boundaries. Thus, boundaries allow us to be separate and at the same time connected.
We put boundaries in place to protect ourselves and develop a sense of safety and security.
Potential violations of our boundaries can result in:
Unpleasant emotions such as resentment, anxiety, anger, depression, regret, disempowerment, frustration, guilt, hopelessness, sadness, bitterness, apathy, insecurity and despair are the result of boundaries being out of place.
When we notice that we are experiencing such emotions it is a clear indication that somewhere along the way our boundaries are not in place.
Therefore, it’s important to clarify and establish our boundaries, identify the boundaries that are not strong or in place, and begin to define our boundaries and communicate these to others in respectful and healthy ways.
Once we establish and get clear on our boundaries and we develop a strong sense of who we are and what we stand for, we are then able to feel much more comfortable in our own space.
Interestingly, the stronger our boundaries are, the more able we become to allow strict monitoring of boundaries to drop away. In other words, when we truly know ourselves we are able to accommodate a bit of ‘boundary stretching’ because we are sure of ourselves and how we define ourselves enough to not let others’ comments or behaviours interfere with or upset us.
]]>There is a reasonable amount of debate around this. Some say passing the tissues invalidates the process the client is going through or can be an act of assisting the client to ‘clean themselves up’ or ‘pull themselves together’ - an invitation to stop crying. This reasoning is generally based on the concept that crying is acceptable and healthy, and it is up to the client to decide when they are ready to stop crying.
Others feel that passing the tissues is a nurturing thing to do and it shows compassion, empathy and support for the client. Some suggest asking your client – but this all depends on whether the client does a lot of crying or not. Personally I would rather let the process flow naturally than start setting up conditions or expectations by asking a client “if you cry should I pass you the tissues or not?”
So we have passers and non-passers. I’m a non-passer but I always keep a box of tissues on the table where we are working. Clearly if a client is online I can’t pass the tissues, so they can get them for themselves if they wish to.
The reason I prefer not to pass the tissues is because for me it interrupts presence, which is very important in coaching. Additionally, if the box of tissues is placed on the table or nearby so that the client can reach them, by passing them I feel like I am eroding their power to act for themselves.
I think it’s up to the individual coach to decide what feels right to them, but food for thought around passing the tissues. And remember it’s really good practice to always have tissues, whether you place them where they can be seen and reached, or you pass them, at some stage during your coaching career they are going to come in handy.
]]>But maybe that information doesn't really matter. Maybe it skews our perception of who they really are?
So how then do we connect and build strong relationships? With presence and authenticity!
]]>How do you bring more of yourself to your virtual relationships and build connection and trust with your clients and colleagues?
When I first saw my sister on a virtual screen in 2008 she was in London and I was in Auckland. It felt so real, as though I could reach out and hug her. We raised our wine glasses together and I almost felt the clink of our glasses connecting. What was different was that I knew my sister - I knew her style, her preferences, her scent, her energy. That it felt so real, and wasn’t, was something of a mind-warp.
With online meetings and remote working becoming more commonplace it can seem somewhat challenging to fully connect with clients and colleagues who we’ve not yet met in person. I often hear people say that nothing beats a face to face interaction, where we receive much more information as to who is sitting in front of us. After all, in-person meetings offer us the opportunity to observe ‘who’ the person we are engaging with actually is right? – how they dress, their mannerisms, the added communication layer of observed body language…it all builds a picture of personal identity and expression. So how then can a face on a screen measure up to physical presence?
Well, maybe that additional information isn’t what really matters. Maybe it skews our perception of who they really are; what matters to them, what they value, and how they live their life - their true essence? In my view sometimes the information we perceive about another person can be more distracting than helpful.
I believe that strong connection and trust in the virtual space is comprised of two essential ingredients - our presence and our authenticity.
1. Our presence – meaning our state of awareness in the moment
To be fully present in an online conversation with someone:
2. Our authenticity – meaning how real we are, and how much of this we share
When we offer a window of insight into who we are connects us at a deeper level and builds stronger relationships. To show up as your real self and share this:
Virtual meeting platforms can allow for even more presence and connection as we bypass the subconscious assumptions we make about each other in our everyday physical interactions, and take a fresh perspective to learn more about people from what they offer us.
]]>Do you want to become a Personal Development Coach, Leadership, Career, or Health and Wellness Coach? Coaching can be applied in any area that interests you. Or perhaps you want to bring the 'coach approach' to your existing skill set and enrich your own leadership and management skills?
You may already know what type of Coaching aligns with your strengths, values, and experience. Some of the more familiar Professional Coaching niches are listed below, and we know that finding your coaching passion and receiving robust professional coach training sets you on the road to becoming a coach who can make a real difference in people's lives. Our ICF Accredited Coaching Course 'Coaching for Transformation' is designed to furnish you with the skills, knowledge and confidence - via practical and interactive training - to excel as a Coach, regardless of what specialist area you feel drawn to. During the course we work on self-awareness, and this may help you clarify what your Coaching calling really is!
Learning to coach provides you with personal insights, skills and self-knowledge which will be immensely useful in your present career and personal life.
Personal awareness, insight, growth and development is at the very core of all coaching, which means that whatever field of coaching you work in, the fundamentals of Personal Development Coaching are always present.
If you're interested in empowering people to be the best version of themselves, live in alignment with their values, enrich their relationships, and live with awareness and purpose, then Personal Development Coaching could be the gift you bring to others.
People who engage a Personal Development Coach are generally looking to improve their feeling of well-being and happiness in their life. A Personal Development Coach works with clients to explore what's important to them, clarify their goals and aspirations, and create real and sustainable change in their life. Personal Development Coaching provides the opportunity for individuals to live with more meaning and fulfilment.
If you want to work with clients who are keen to clarify their ideal career path, make a career change, or increase their professional impact Career Coaching may be for you! A Career Coach helps clients identify what really motivates them, create a vision for their future, work with their energising strengths and align their work with their values, among much more. Career Coaching is invaluable for new managers and individuals whose role requires greater personal and professional effectiveness.
A Career Coach will assist their client to build confidence, trust their decision-making abilities, increase their resilience to stress and pressure, enhance perspective, and integrate work and life responsibilities to thrive in work and life.
Are you motivated and energised by empowering individuals and teams to maximise their potential and excel in their professional roles? A true leader inspires others to be their best. Leadership qualities are not only important for those who hold a position as a Leader but for anyone who wishes to influence, inspire and motivate others towards the achievement of a goal or outcome.
A Leadership Coach assists their client to gain a deeper understanding of their vision of themselves as a Leader. The focus on personal development of a leader is of much greater importance to excellent leadership than the achievement of goals; when attention is given to the underlying cause, performance takes care of itself.
A Leadership Coach works with their client to acquire clarity and focus, enhance their emotional intelligence, learn how to bring the best out of others, and lead with confidence and courage.
Does lifestyle management appeal to you where an holistic approach to living is the focus? A Health and Wellbeing Coach works with clients to improve their physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental wellbeing to live a high-functioning and healthy lifestyle.
Holistic well-being also includes the social support aspects of life - relationships, work, recreation, learning and development, personal experiences and beliefs, and community involvement.
A Health and Wellbeing Coach will support individuals to integrate healthy patterns of sleep, nutrition, exercise, financial management, occupational enjoyment, and positive relationship dynamics to achieve optimal lifestyle choices and outcomes.
It can be lonely at the top! The intensity of an Executive role, coupled with the lack of peers to have confidential conversations with can create feelings of isolation which in turn can impede performance. Having a trusted, honest and supportive Professional Coach alongside is essential to an Executive's success.
An Executive Coach works closely to support the Executive to navigate the complexities and challenges of today's demanding business environment where high-performance, strategic thinking, adaptability and creativity are required.
By gaining clarity of thought, perspective, recognising personal blind spots, and self-awareness of their Leadership style and impact, the Executive develops authentic and trusting relationships with those they lead, increasing engagement, motivation and productivity in their organisation.
If the areas of interest you have for coaching isn't in the five short descriptions above, that's OK because you can be confident that coaching can be applied to any field that appeals to you! Here are some more specific examples:
Many coaches combine coaching with another field of expertise such as Career Coaching & LinkedIn Profiling, Leadership Coaching & Team Building Facilitation, Life Coaching & Energy Healing, Relationship Coaching & Counselling, or Business Coaching & Consulting.
These types of combinations strengthen a coach's brand, profile and expertise, as well as leveraging income.
Our ICF Accredited Coaching courses offer small groups, personal attention and experiential learning to provide you with the confidence and skill to support people to make significant and lasting change in their life and work. Find out more about Coaching for Transformation here.
This ICF Coach Training delivers a thorough understanding of coaching concepts, coaching skills and techniques that will equip you to facilitate the outcomes your clients want for sustainable change.
If you want to know more feel free to contact Anna.
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If you'd like to positively manage stress and build your capacity to recover more easily form adversity and setbacks contact me for a chat on 027 279 8724 or anna@nzicoaching.co.nz
]]>Significant life events such as a change in health or reaching an age milestone can prompt our thinking around our purpose and what gives us meaning.
Some people simply know, and always have known, what they're here to do. For others it's not so clear.
Just the thought of having a specific purpose in life can seem overwhelming and even down right frightening. What will it mean if I define my life purpose and then change my mind?, how do I find the truth around this question?, will knowing what my life purpose is change me? will it change my relationships?
The thing is, life purpose doesn’t have to be extraordinary, life defining, or seem exciting to others. Many people are already quietly living their life purpose. They know who they are, they operate in alignment with their values, and they have a clear sense of direction.
If you ask someone who feels strongly connected to what provides meaning and fulfillment to their life you'll probably find the answers you receive will be centred on serving humanity in some shape or form. It seems that life purpose is not just about a person’s own sense of self and what they do or achieve, but more about who they are being, how they connect with others, and how they touch humankind.
Knowing our purpose increases our confidence because we know who we are and what we are about. We gain respect from others who witness our ability to vision our best selves and behave in ways that reflect our values. We understand our own true nature and allow that to shine in everything we do.
6. If you had no doubt that you could be outrageously successful doing what you most love and enjoy, what would that success be for you?
7. If you knew you had all the support you needed, what would you begin creating?
8. What does the deepest core of your being say about who you want to be in life?
]]>In over 15 years of working with people who desire to make changes in their lives the one missing link I’ve noticed is self-awareness. People with a high level of self-awareness achieve their goals because they are connected to them in real and purposeful ways.
Self-awareness allows us to clarify our vision, engage in what energises us, be honest and real, and operate from a values system that supports our goals being reached.
Self-awareness is the key to defining the outcomes we want in our lives, and taking the steps that will get us there. How can we know what we want if we don’t know who we are?
To set and achieve meaningful goals we need to broaden our awareness of who we are, what we want, and where we are heading. Goals based on deep self-awareness are more likely to fulfill long term.
When we apply a deeper self-knowledge to our goals we remove conscious and subconscious resistance and inner conflict; we stay on track and gain momentum.
Next time you think about setting a goal try answering these questions. Allow plenty of time to reflect and be clear on what’s realty true for you and be honest with yourself.
What’s important to me right now?
Who am I being and am I ok with that?
How do I truly want to be as a person?
What am I really capable of?
What energises and drives me?
Who do I want to become?
How important is this goal to me right now?
How will this goal support who I want to be?
Does this goal satisfy my capabilities?
What will this goal actually give me?
How will this goal contribute to fulfilling my life dreams?
How does this goal energise me?
What’s the purpose and meaning underneath this goal?
How will pursuing this goal enhance my life on a daily basis?
How does this goal align with my personal values?
Dare to live authentically – acknowledge your dreams and be true to yourself. If your goals are tied to a lifestyle or ‘way of being’ you’re not happy with don’t simply add another layer to the mix.
Be flexible - goals can change, they’re not set in stone. If you climb part way up a mountain and happen to see a better mountain from your lookout spot, there’s nothing stopping you from changing your plan!
Consider failure as just more knowledge - without our failures our successes wouldn’t be anywhere near as rewarding.
Don’t compare yourself to others - nothing is more soul destroying than measuring your life against someone else. No one's path will be the same, treasure your own path and be grateful for your own life experiences.
Connect your goal to your purpose – however large or small your goal check that it syncs with what motivates and energises you.
Celebrate small steps - enjoy the process and be present in your experiences as they occur; don’t rush it.
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